Lessons of a Journey…. Despair and Hope

I hate the fact that Everest poisoned many lives for not only the people who climbed the mountain, but the families and friends of the man or woman who had lost their lives. Relationships were destroyed and marriages were wrecked. It would be hard to live alone or with your baby waiting for your husband or wife to return for a half of a year. The sad part is, that some climbers never come back, sending families into depression or loss of money. One wife who had lost her husband to the harsh mountain of Everest was so sad that she had to be sent into a hospital because of how badly she was depressed. Climbers who came back alive stated that it was the worst experience that they have ever had. Some were in great remorse because of the fact that they could have helped someone, but they were worried about their own safety, like many others and me. Even though I was extremely tired and wiped out, I feel like now I could have some how saved one of the clients or guides from dying at the time.

What happened on Everest continues to take up many of my thoughts each day. I received a lot of feedback from the article that I wrote in Outside magazine. Some of it was understanding, but some of it was very critical. I look at the actions that I took on the mountain and feel like I could have done more. Andy Harris dies only 350 yards away from my tent but I was too weak and too out of it to help.

One of the other clients on the expedition named Beidleman actually saved five lives, but felt haunted everyday at work from then on because he failed to save one client who was not even on the same expedition, nor his own responsibility. Everest had negatively changed the lives and thoughts of climbers by its way of nature in which the expeditioners will never forget.

But on a positive note, there are some that have learned and moved on from the horrible day on Everest and this has given me hope that someday I too will not let it haunt me. I was able to talk with Lou Kasischke a few months later and this is part of what he said. “Everest was the worst experience in my life. …. I learned some important things about my life, others and myself. I feel now I have a clearer perspective on life. I see things today I never saw before.” I also talked to Beck who had to be evacuated from Everest. He had his right arm amputated halfway below the elbow, all four fingers and thumb removed from his left hand and his nose amputated and reconstructed with tissue from his ear and forehead. It is incredibly amazing that he conquered these changes in his life with such a positive attitude. He did not know if he was going to be able to continue his career as a physician, but at the same time, he did not blame anyone for what happened to him.

The journey was all about how you dealt with the ending. Regardless, it changed all of our lives forever.